Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Big Announcement

The first Baby picture

Our first ultrasound was Friday, March 13th. Although the baby was moving during the whole process, causing the ultrasound technician to exclaim, "Wow! This baby's a MOVER!" we managed to get this profile picture. The Baby was measuring big - seemingly indicating that I was over 18 weeks pregnant! Oh my! Based on the pictures, my mom said she couldn't tell what was going on and my grandmother said, "All I can see is a big orange blob!" What do you think? :) We're still going to be surprised whether it's a boy or girl and as of yet I have no mother's intuition...sigh...Kyle and I decided that we'd each take one. Because Kyle's convinced the baby's a girl, I'm going with a boy. This way, at least one of us is right! :) I first felt the baby move on Thursday, March 5th - the movements seem to grow more pronounced every day. Oh, what sweet confirmation of life! Even as I write, the baby is giving great big kicks as if to declare to you, "I'm here...and it's the official Big Blog Announcement!" I'm in love!

Here's a little piece that I started writing several weeks ago (I've very behind in posting), and just finished up tonight:

I know most of you reading this blog have already figured it out, but spring break allows time for me to make The Big Announcement official...Kyle and I are expecting the next saga in our adventurous life together: a new baby! Although we were surprised to discover how God is redirecting our course (I took 8 pregnancy tests in all - including the blood test given by the base), Kyle and I look forward to that sweet day with happiness and awe. Already the story of how this little one came to be nestled in our lives astounds us as we remember that in all things God's timing is perfect.

Here's some background:

When Kyle proposed on March 3, 2006, we sat up almost all night making plans and dreaming about the future. One of our first questions to each other was: When do you want to have children? What about in two years...do you think that's too soon? When we thought about our lives together, we hoped and prayed for children and literally couldn't wait for those two years to pass. Then, around a month before we were married, a series of events (which I won't delve into at this point) transpired such that I came through the experience absolutely terrified to have children. To me, it almost felt that I had gone through that experience so that I would have the freedom to pursue other things during the following years. Therefore, I applied for programs in psychology...and you know the rest. However, even during those most scary of times, I began praying a prayer that has come back to me over the years at various points since Kyle and I've been married. I prayed: "God, when the timing is right, please put the desire to have children back in my heart in a way that I cannot ignore...in a way that I know comes from you." So, I've watched others have children, talked to others about planning a family, put my dreams for a family on hold throughout graduate school and told everyone that it would be 5-7 years before we'd even THINK about having a baby. The desire for children never went away...it just was masked underneath other life events.

We had our first positive pregnancy test on a Tuesday night in early December - the night before my big ethics final paper was due and Kyle's big "3-P" checkride. Almost instantly, the double pink line (the one indicating the pregnancy hormone) became evident. To us, the unbelievers, the line was barely there, so much so that we easily dismissed it as a "false positive." Even still, there was no more concentrating on our schoolwork. I carried that test around with me that first night...my only indication that this dream might be real. Seven tests later, I still feel caught in a surreal whirlwind. I'm terrified, exhilerated, incredulous, and happy in a way I've never known.

Soon after we discovered a baby on the WAY, I remembered my prayer; remembered asking God to put the desire for children in my heart in a way that I could not ignore. With astonishment I realized that not only had God answered this prayer, but He placed the baby in our lives - with no trying or planning. In His timing, He knew we were ready before we did. Though I still am (and will always be) in awe of the responsibility He's entrusted to us, this raising of His child, I feel confident that He's clearly directing our steps and cares about even these - the inner workings of my heart. I then realized that the timing of our pregnancy fit exactly within our original plan. 2 - 3 years after marriage, here we are, a family becoming four (including the doog). Despite, and in a way because of, early hardships, heartbreak, and doubts, God is making new the vision of our family.